Can you imagine investing months of planning and heartfelt energy carefully planning a long-awaited vacation with your family - a vacation that will allow you to escape the stress of everyday life, restore harmony, and bring your family closer together - only to find that you're not even at your destination yet and the younger kids are fighting in the back seat, your teenager is grumbling that "this trip is going to be boring" and he'd rather hang out with his friends and your spouse is yelling at you because you misread the map? It's only the first day and already you wish you were alone and everyone else had stayed home.

Yet, traveling with your children can be a great learning experience. The children learn how far they can torment each other before their parents explode and just how far "far" is to the next potty. But the main advantage of traveling with the kids, particularly if they don't live with you because of divorce, is the opportunity to bring the family closer together by sharing time and experiences (and three or four people in a motel room with one bathroom provides plenty of closeness).

With a little extra planning, you can minimize the hassles and maximize the enjoyment of traveling with children. With summer vacation around the corner, here are five tips to help you survive and even enjoy your next family trip.

1. Involve the Kids in Planning

If your children are old enough, show them a map of the places you are going. Challenge them to trace the route with crayons or a yellow marker. It's not only a good geography lesson, but you won't have to listen to that constant question "Are we there yet?" because they'll be able to tell you.

Show them brochures on your destination and ask them to make a list of things they want to see and do there, particularly if your kids are teenagers who have their own ideas of what constitutes "fun". Ask them to make their own packing lists, but edit it carefully. Otherwise you might find, as one mother did, that your child has packed a suitcase full of toys and not a stitch of clothing. This way, you are also training them to become good travelers.

2. Post the Rules of the Road

Post the "Rules of the Road" such as "No fighting," "No hanging body parts out of the window", "Bathroom stops will be made at two hour intervals" etc. Somehow rules written down on paper carry more weight. In fact it's a good idea to post the "Rules of the Road" on the refrigerator door or other high-visibility place in the house a week before your trip. Kids tend to behave better when they know what behavior is expected. Ask them to contribute to the list.

3. Keep Them Busy

Assign tasks that are commensurate with their ages. Older kids can navigate or read the road signs along the way, or keep track of expenses in a diary. Younger children can count luggage pieces when you arrive and depart to keep track of them or check under beds and drawers at lodgings to be sure no item is left behind.

Kids can keep busy in the car with quiet activities like listening to books on tape, or playing electronic games or even keyboards with headsets. But don't forget the age-old games that the whole family can play together, games like "Twenty Questions" that require no extra equipment to lug around. Make stops along your route at parks, pony rides, ice-skating rinks so the kids can get their energy out. The road trip should be part of the vacation, not just a hurried means of getting to your destination.

4. Keep It Simple

The easiest trip you can make, particularly with infants or small children is to a single destination like a self-contained resort. That way, you only have to carry the baby and all the support systems - bottles, formula, baby food, diapers, infant seat stroller - twice, coming and going.

5. Choose a Destination That Is Kid Friendly

Ideally your vacation choice would have supervised activities for children so you don't have to entertain them 100% of the time. It would have a family-style restaurant, kitchenette or, at least , a small refrigerator, so you don't have to eat all your meals out. Look for resorts with a family policy, that is, children free in the same room with the adults, a children's play area or pool. In other words, services that demonstrate the hotel or resort is kid friendly.

©Copyright Nadine Nardi Davidson

Next month:
Tips for making sure your honeymoon is romantic!

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Nadine Nardi Davidson has spent 25 years as a travel consultant and is currently a leisure specialist at Travel Store Inc, Los Angeles. She is the author of Travel with Others without Wishing They'd Stayed Home, a survival guide to traveling with your spouse, lover, boss, friends, kids, someone else's kids, parents, in-laws and other relatives, your pet and yourself. The book is available through book stores or by calling toll free 888-837-BOOK (2665) or online at Amazon.com or www.PrincePublishing.com. Nadine has been featured on CNN/FN, Lifetime's New Attitudes, Good Morning Texas, Good Day Atlanta, Today in Minneapolis, WGN Chicago and over 160 other radio and TV shows. She is also the author of two volumes of Skier's Guide to California. Her articles have been published in the Christian Science Monitor, San Francisco Chronicle, Bridal Guide and Woman's World.

You can email me your travel questions and, although time does not allow for individual responses, I will try to answer as many as possible in future columns. Please post questions for me on "The Salon" Discussion Board here at BeautyWalk.