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Want
to get inside the head of your one year old?
Parenting
is, to some extent, something that no book can prepare
you for. How do I know? I'm a parent (of twins, no
less), so I'm in the trenches with you. Essentially,
I believe that parenting is a marathon adventure -
full of joys, challenges, and surprises. On the other
hand, as a psychologist who specializes in early childhood
development, I also know that a little information
goes a long way - especially in the early years. That's
why I've written this column (and the Watch Me Grow
series) - to help you through the inevitable "speed
bumps" on the road to parenting.
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Maureen O'Brien |
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Travel,
Toddler-style
Rather
not be caught in a tug-of-war at the airport? Prefer a smooth
train or car trip to one filled with tantrums? A few simple tricks
can turn vacation travel into fun for the entire family.
Any
parent who has traveled with their toddler will tell you that
advance planning is half the battle in ensuring a successful trip.
Just as we adults like to have our favorite pj's with us or sleep
on the same side of the bed in hotels, our children also feel
comforted by familiar routines when they're on the road. So before
you close that suitcase, consider whether you've included a few
reassuring items - a stuffed animal, a storybook or music tape
- to remind your little one that being away from home doesn't
have to feel foreign.
Better
yet, involve your child in selecting which one or two toys he
would like to bring along for the trip. His involvement in helping
to choose and then pack a few things not only shows respect for
his wishes, but will help eliminate such phrases as "I don't
like that one" when you pull out a toy or snack from your
carry-on bag.
Toddlers
like control, and they like routines. The more you can introduce
elements of both into your vacation travel, the more you will
cut down on potential conflicts. If, for example, your child is
an extremely active boy, he will not want to sit quietly as other
travelers board the airplane or train. Better to forego the "advance
seating" offered to families of young children and wait for
the lines to recede before boarding. (There'll be plenty of time
to settle him into his seat.) Meanwhile, he can watch others go
by and work out his energy far better in the roomier train station
or airport lounge than in the confines of his seat.
Keep
a desired treat handy to offer when your child needs it; airplane
food does not tend to be kid-friendly, and a hungry toddler is
not a happy traveler. Once aboard, parents can take advantage
of a toddler's natural curiosity. Point out items in the surroundings
that will fascinate him long enough to buckle him in. Window seats
provide a wonderful view on the outside world, while aisle seats
are too tempting for toddlers, since they can see all the places
they're not allowed to go!
A
common mistake that I see parents make on planes and trains is
to show a child gadgets (lights, air valve) that he is not able
to reach. No doubt their intent is well-meaning ("Look, Paul,
this is how the window closes"), but to demonstrate to a
toddler something they cannot practice over and over themselves
is akin to placing an ice cream cone in front of them and telling
them they can't eat it. Far better to stick with items - his own
headphones, an in-flight magazine - that he can enjoy and manipulate
all the way to your destination. Your fellow travelers will appreciate
your forethought, and you won't be exhausted before you arrive!
Maureen O'Brien, Ph.D., a recognized expert in child development,
is a former research associate in pediatrics at Harvard Medical
School, a consultant to the Brazelton Touchpoints Center at Boston
Children's Hospital and an Adjunct Assistant Professor at Bentley
College. The mother of twins, she lives with her family in Canton,
Massachusetts.
Maureen is the author of Watch Me Grow I'm One: Every Parent's
Guide to the Enchanting 12- to 24-Month-Old (William Morrow/an
imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers), available online at amazon.com,
bn.com
and borders.com.
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this topic with others right now at
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