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The
Art of Great Conversation
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*A
monthly column devoted to helping women and men
be their best and most confident in any situation.
Topics include dress, body language, attitude and
etiquette.
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Victoria Seitz, PhD
Image Expert |
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Learning
to be a great conversationalist is relatively easy if
you become equipped with the right ammunition. Also being
able to carry on a good conversation will enhance your
networking skills and build enduring client relationships.
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There
are those today who are wallflowers who are frozen stiff when
it comes to conversing with others and then they are those that
can only talk about themselves - boring!!!!
Here
are some tips that will help you in making positive impressions
with others and enhance your success.
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1. |
Remember that conversation is a process of give and take.
Each person takes time to talk and to LISTEN. |
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2. |
Don't PRETEND to know everything. Talk from your experience
and if you don't know what the other person is talking about
this is your opportunity to ask questions and learn something
new. |
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3. |
THINK before you speak. Take time to put your thoughts
together rather than blurt something out. |
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4. |
Be a good listener. As opposed to what some think,
his is an active state. To enhance your listening skills,
try repeating everything that the other person is saying,
verbatim, in your head. Also, ask questions or summarize what
the other person is saying, give eye contact and be sure that
your body posture is turned towards them to let them know
that you're truly listening. |
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5. |
Be aware of the world around you. Check out the news
so you have something to talk about other than "shop talk".
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6. |
Include everyone in the conversation rather than one
or two in the group. |
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7. |
Don't meddle in gossip. Is just gives someone else
the green light to gossip about you and gossip is harmful.
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8. |
Avoid vulgarity. Whether you are male or female is
shows a lack of vocabulary and is offensive to others. |
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9. |
Give and receive complements gracefully. A simple "thank
you" does the trick. Don't tell them that you only paid $59.99
for it at Loehmans. Also if you are going to give a complement,
be sincere or don't make one at all. |
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10. |
Be interested in what other people do for a living, about
their good news and good fortune. You would appreciate
the same in return. Moreover, you don't know what will happen
down the rode professionally, you may end up in their profession
and they would make a great contact for you. So ask questions
without interrogating them. |
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11. |
Avoid talking about your health, your recent nose job,
other people's health, their weight, a impending divorce,
custody battle or lawsuit, sexual preference, therapy, sex
life, personal misfortunes, or age. Also, to be on the safe
side, particularly if you don't know where people stand, stay
away from sensitive issues such as religion, politics and
abortion. |
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12. |
When someone starts talking about their problems be a good
listener but don't offer advice. If someone does ask for
your advice, sharing a similar experience you've had is the
best route to go. |
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13. |
Be sensitive to filler words like "you know" (no I
don't know - please tell me), "um" and "like a". |
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14. |
Avoid pointing the conversation constantly in your direction.
I, I, I, conversations are boring and send people away. |
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15. |
If the conversation is going well don't change the subject.
If there is a lag in the conversation after a statement just
say "Well, that was a conversation starter!" |
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16. |
Don't ask how much things cost (you can find out yourself),
if that is a real diamond they're wearing, or is that a hairpiece
(please!) |
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17. |
Stuck for topics? - consider mentioning something nice
about the event that you're at, talk about new developments
in science, with your boss - news about the competition is
always a plus in your direction, gardening, best selling books
that you've read, or the arts. |
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18. |
If at a dinner party drum up a conversation with the person
seated next you by mentioning something nice about the
evening rather than the hair in your salad, and lastly, |
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19. |
Avoid off-colored jokes but do have a sense of humor.
Life is too important to be taken seriously! |
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
Victoria
Seitz, PhD is a professor of Marketing at California State
University, San Bernardino and is author of Your Executive
Image, AdamsMedia, Inc, 2000 and Power Dressing, DonJon
Publishing, 1991. In addition to teaching, Dr. Seitz was a fashion
coordinator for Burdines, Florida and in retail management for
Saks Fifth Avenue, Phoenix, AZ. Clients of Dr. Seitz have included
Abbott Laboratories, Northern Telecom, Texas Instruments, Yellow
Freight Systems, Sally Beauty Company, the United States Armed
Forces, Travellife magazine, YWCA and Accountants Overload, in
addition to law firms, hotels, newspapers, universities, banks,
credit unions, national and local community and professional organizations
nationwide.
To learn more about Dr. Seitz please visit her website at www.cbpa.csusb.edu/vseitz.
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