It’s easier said than done. But the fact of the matter is that you are just as important as the next person! To give an analogy, think of a field of grass and that you are a blade of it. Your part in creating the field is just as important and necessary as the next blade of grass.

Yet millions of dollars are spent annually on therapy to help people feel better about themselves. As well, new types of therapies are being introduced to help people accept themselves and to climb the hurdles that inhibit this acceptance. One of the common methods for curbing lack of self confidence or negative self-worth is putting your accomplishments on the refrigerator or saying that you are wonderful each day in front of the mirror.

Why is it so difficult to accept ourselves as we are. Why do we meet people and instantly put them on a pedestal. Why? Why can’t we accept ourselves as a valuable contribution to the human race? Why is it that we compare our insides with someone’s outsides. WRONG. Even the folks on the dramas Dallas, Dynasty and Melrose Place had it all and still had to prove their worth. Given this method of comparison, you will always come out short-handed.

There are a lot of people in the same boat and I see it on a daily basis. People are trying prove that they are important, worthy, deserving of respect by driving cars they can’t afford, going to the “in” restaurants, and sending their kids to the best schools (which is nice if they have the grades and you can afford it). I am not saying that its wrong to do those things just think about the motivation behind it. Are you doing it to earn respect or are you doing it because you want the car. Mercedes-Benz has sold a lot of cars based on that desire of having prestige.

Why is it for women that we have had a difficult time feeling just as important as the next person. If you want to know why we are paid less than men or that we take second rate jobs is because it's our choice. Where did we get this second class citizen frame of mind. We are very important! We keep the human race going! We are smart, handle pain in an outstanding manner, intelligent, practical as well as have other talents I won’t go through with. For those that stay at home, you are very important, just as important as women that choose to work. We all make choices and the choice you make is yours.

Especially in relationships, because of our lack of self-worth, we will allow men to govern, or we will try to rule, its one extreme or another. Value yourself and your contribution to your family, your relationship and to yourself. Your opinion and thoughts count so make them known. Here are three tips that will move you in the right direction.

Take the Action and the Thought Will Follow

Even if you don’t feel it, by taking the action of counting yourself in you will finally educate yourself in the value you are to yourself and others. For example, something as simple as dressing like a professional at work, people will start treating you like a professional and finally you will start to feel like one.

Rather than think about it, just do it.

Like a lot of therapists suggest, another way of taking the action is to list why you’re important or your accomplishments and tape them on the mirror and read it daily. You may think its silly but by taking this action, eventually you will absorb what you are saying and believe that you count. Some have advised me to pin up my resume but I haven’t done that yet.

If you don’t think you’re important, by taking positive actions you’ll feel better about yourself and feel that you are a value to yourself and others. Realize, however, that you are of value no matter what you do, who you are or what you say. Everyone is important and has something to contribute.

Its Just Because You’re You

There is a song that says, “I love you just because you’re you.” That’s all it takes. It doesn’t take a fancy title, car or designer clothing to be somebody important – all it takes is you. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, its just because you’re you – and you are not perfect. In Gods eyes you are important and special. If you can’t quite feel that right now, know that God loves you just because you’re you. You don’t need all the stuff that the companies advertise to make you seem important you are already. Now think how much money you’re going to save by not purchasing all those products and services that make you seem important. You are already. Just because you don’t buy balsamic vinegar does not make you unimportant. You don’t have to be part of the “in” crowd to be somebody worthwhile, its just because you’re you that makes you special and important in the eyes of God. He thought you were important enough to make and your journey on earth is an important one that has yet to be completed.

Stop the Negative Self-Talk

“Oh I know this isn’t important but . . . ,” or “I know this will probably not work but. . .” How many times have you told yourself and others how much you don’t value yourself with those comments. They mention in giving a presentation, don’t give an excuse or else you lose any credibility you had. Quit beating yourself up!

In conversations with others become aware of what you say about yourself. For some we have been putting ourselves down for so long we aren’t even aware of it. No wonder no one else thinks we matter, we tell them we don’t matter. Try to quit giving excuses for your existence or for that matter anything that you have to say. You are of value and that’s that.

Negative self-talk happens primarily in our head. We will put ourselves down and say that we aren’t as good as others. Or maybe you’re contemplating going for a position at work but you basically talk yourself out of it. Negative self-talk is harmful that’s why I call it “stinkin’ thinkin’”. With your stinkin’ thinkin’ you could probably talk yourself into jumping out a window if you wanted to. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Negative self-talk will become your reality if you let it. So don’t let it. That doesn’t mean pumping yourself up to unreal proportions or bragging to others how great you are, that will ensure your failure. It means saying that you are a human being capable of making mistakes but have a lot to contribute. You do matter.

Paul Harvey, the radio commentator, said at a college graduation address, “Everyone falls down, but it’s the successful people that get back up and try again.” I have used that as my motto and heaven knows how many times I have failed. However, I don’t consider myself a failure, I figure that at least I tried and life is a journey full of lessons to learn and to grow. We are human and we are going to make mistakes. Because you’re not perfect, thin enough, rich enough, at the most prestigious job or where you think you ought to be at this point, STOP. You are defeating any opportunity to move forward with your negative self-talk.

Maybe if we stopped measuring people by what they do or who they are we could have a chance at enjoying life as ourselves without “trying to keep up with the Jones". Feeling that you are just as important as the next person will help you to have relationships that are partnerships and collaborative efforts rather than a matter of control and games. We can be with people and contribute to affairs that are important to us without being afraid of failing or looking stupid. We can make our own choices rather than having someone else make our decisions for us. It’s a wonderful feeling when you start to feel that you’re on equal footing with everyone else. We can begin to enjoy ourselves and live life to the fullest. Its your life go after it!