How many times have you heard that you only have today? Well race fans that is all you have! It’s unbelievable to me when talking to some people, how wonderful yesterday was or how wonderful it will be when . . .

Learn From the Past and Let it Go

I too thought about how great the old days were. I would stroll down memory lane quite a bit and think that life was much better then as I wasted away the day. Many times it was during times of challenge that yesterday was so appealing, but in reality, the only day I had was today. I guess I was trying to escape the current situation. Have you done that?

In fact, The Beatles had a great hit around the very same theme “Yesterday”. To get over the agony of today, the best place to be was yesterday when everything was ok.

Men who played sports in high school or college tell about how they could throw the longest pass or run a 100 yard dash in 5 seconds. Frankly, I’d like to know what you are doing today to change things affecting us right now!

Women who may have been a beauty queen will talk about their days in the spot light or an old flame that was truly the love of your life. You are losing every moment of joy, accomplishment, sadness, and growth with the one you’re with by dwelling in yesterday. It’s gone!

The theme about the “way we were” has been made into songs and movies, but don’t believe them – you can’t go back. The same issue comes up in marriages a lot and is one of the causes of divorce. “He’s not the same anymore,” “He used to bring me flowers and cards,” “She used to make me breakfast,” and “We used to go out and dance,” sound familiar. Many of us expect our marriage to be the same as it was the day we married but it doesn’t. None of us are the same as we used to be so quit expecting your partner to be. It’s time to grow and start anew.

In another aspect of relationships is when individuals disagree or fight. Whether it’s with your mother, father, significant other or friend, yesterday seems to enter in to today’s disagreement. I am just as guilty as the next person of bringing yesterday into today’s fights. When it’s in the past - leave it there. The best way you can use your past is to learn from it. They say hindsight is 20/20, learn from your past mistakes to make today better.

Plan for the Future but Don’t Plan the Outcome

Another aspect of living and learning is preparing for the future. Yes, you only have today, but you can take the lessons learned from yesterday and prepare for your future. We don’t want to sit and wait for the future to get here.

There is a story about getting to the station. When I get to the station everything will be rosy, just right or like what a friend of mine always says, everything will be organized. Sorry, but you will never arrive at the station and will lose out on the journey, the process of growth and making memories.

We focus a lot on tomorrow professionally too .I moved to Miami and started working for Burdines as a fashion coordinator and planned out my professional future - President of Burdines. Too ambitious, but, hey, I had tough competition from my brothers and sisters. Today intervened and ultimately I became a professor – who would have ever thought that!

It’s ok to prepare for the future but the future is made up of today’s and for most of us, we often don’t know what today will bring. You can prepare for it, just don’t plan the outcome. If you do you will probably experience more disappoint than necessary.

As I’ve aged I’ve found that living in today gets easier probably because I can’t remember what I am doing tomorrow and I definitely can’t remember what I did yesterday. I may make plans but I don’t plan the outcome – otherwise I will be greatly disappointed.

From another perspective is when dating someone. You get ready for the special date and images start to form regarding the direction the evening will take or how the relationship will evolve. You can get prepared for the date, just don’t plan the outcome, that’s immersing in fantasy. Reality will never measure up.

Before I went to Romania on a Fulbright people asked me what was I expecting and most times I say I didn’t expect anything. What happened was a pleasant surprise. You can enjoy the time without any expectations attached to it.

Live in Today

All you really have is today. You can enjoy it or lose it to yesterday or tomorrow. Living in today also helps us ward off guilt when something unexpected happens such as loss of a loved one. Enjoy what life has to offer you today. You will deal with situations both positive and negative, today. Deal with them. As a cliché goes, do today what you would rather put off tomorrow then move on.

Sometimes my students get so anxious when they approach graduation because they feel they have to figure out what they are going to do the rest of their lives. I just tell them that all they have to be concerned about is their first job. Things will change that’s for sure. All you can take care of is today so give it all you’ve got.

Why do we have to be struck with a terminal illness or a debilitating disease before we appreciate each day that we have? Often, its then that we start appreciating the relationships that we have, the times enjoyed in the present and try to do all the things that we’ve put off today for tomorrow.

It’s certainly a lot easier to work in today rather than tomorrow because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Preparing for the future will ready you for tomorrow but when it comes, it will be a day that you will apply all your yesterdays to deal with it.